Friends are supposed to help you be the best version of yourself. People with deep, meaningful relationships help you live healthier, happier lives. However, when they’re doing the exact opposite, it might be time to learn the warning signs of toxic friendships. That’s not to say that healthy relationships get along all the time. Even healthy people have disagreements.
So, how do you tell the difference between a rough spot in a friendship and a truly toxic relationship? There are some warning signs to be aware of to help you know the difference. Let’s take a closer look at what toxic friendships look like and how to walk away from one.
What Are Toxic Friendships
In a toxic friendship, there is a difference between bad days and chronic bad treatment. A friend that you can’t be emotionally vulnerable with for fear of repercussions is not just having a bad day. This is a sign of chronically poor treatment. This person might have a pattern of ruining every good thing you share with them.
Healthy people will apologize for bad behavior and actually change their behavior accordingly. Friends who never regret their behavior or never change despite an apology, are not healthy for you. It may be time to examine your relationship with the person for signs of toxicity.
Signs Of Toxic Friendship
Perpetrators of toxic behaviors often lay the blame for their actions at other people’s feet, especially their victims. It can leave you feeling confused and frustrated, but convinced that you shouldn’t end the friendship. It’s important to recognize the signs of toxic friendships. It will empower you to take better care of yourself and leave behind the negative presences in your life.
Bullying
Whether it’s just the two of you in a group setting, toxic friends don’t respect the boundary between teasing and bullying. They regularly try to throw you under the bus or humiliate you. Then, they make you feel bad for getting upset.
This person might victimize you for popularity or to wield some sort of power over you. This is easier if you are already friends. They know your pressure points and things they promised to never tell other people. They take advantage of the trust you originally put in them and use it against you. It makes you feel regularly tense and unsafe around them. If you mention it, they belittle how you feel, making you question your feelings.
Parasitic Behavior
Toxic friends only remember you exist when they want something. Their calls are always rants or requests for help. They always take and rarely give. Friendships should go both ways. In toxic friendships, they never show up when you need them.
If you can’t say “no” without creating drama, this is a sign of a toxic friend. You’ll often feel more like an object for use instead of a person around them. They are draining both emotionally and mentally.
How To End A Toxic Friendship
Ending a friendship is never easy. Unless you plan to ghost them, it involves emotional conversations and some form of confrontation. When you do decide to speak with them, make the conversation about yourself and your needs, not their wrongs. It’s much harder for the other person to get defensive and jump into conflict if you make it about yourself. If they do make it confrontational no matter what you try, it’s okay to end the conversation and leave. You did your best.
It’s also okay to give people second chances. However, you should be careful and guard yourself if you choose to do so. Do not fall back into the same habits of letting them get away with their behavior. If you have confronted them and they have apologized, you can give them a chance to change. If they don’t change, it might be time to walk away.
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